The War Within Is Won
I’m tired of myself; tired of sinning against the God who loves me, after all He’s done. Wasteful pleasures and meaningless gains have been a problem in my life, seemingly since the day I was born. Nevertheless, God was still willing to save me; in fact, willing to lose His life. Today I stand here, even after I have believed, dwelling in the darkness of my sin. At one moment proclaiming good and shunning evil, but the very next giving way to my sinful heart. Only God can know the depth of the evil that lies within, the same evil in which every day I attempt to depart. Thus, here lies the simple question that lingers in my mind: Why?
I’m tired of myself; tired of making the choice to turn my back from God when His gaze is always upon me. Lustful thoughts and hypocritical behavior have been over prevalent in my life. Today I still stand here in shame for the wrongdoing I have just committed. The broken vows I have made to God and the vain words that have stung. The persistence of foolish deeds when many times I have uttered that this deed shall surely be the last one. Yet the cycle has continued all because of me, myself, and I. Once more I am reminded that the selfishness that clings to life will only lead to death. The surrendering of life to be slain will create an ever-abundant life that will never be taken away. This is the promise that God has made. The question is what will I do now? Will I cling to life or surrender to be slain?
From hereafter, upon this very moment and beyond, the Lord, my God knows that my decision has been made. Today I will do as you’ve done; I will die once and rise with the Son. I will come forth with confidence and take up my cross. I will offer this sacrifice, pleasing and holy to God. I will be used as His vessel to carry out His will. If the Lord says move to the east, I will go to the east. If the Lord says travel to the west with no water in your canister and no food in your sack and make my name be known. I will eagerly accept the will of the one who sent me. My body is now His, it will be used as His temple in which He will have no grief from dwelling inside. By humility and grace, I will be exalted in His sight and raised to heavenly places in Christ.
Even before these times come, today there is victory, because today is the day which I have died to myself and have received a new and indeed most precious life. The life that God has gave, the life that is everlasting, the life that is plentiful, the life that will never go dry, the life without blemish, and the life that never gets old. For the remaining years while I’m here on earth, I will yearn for the life that God has gave. The crown of life waiting for me in its most effulgent form. A radiance that never dims, and its echo of glory whispering to me now. For even in this moment, it is surely mine. Certainly, as the days go by, I am ascending into the promise of His inheritance that awaits beyond the sky.
For this I will walk step by step, striking a blow to my body, so that I may not be disqualified for this prize. For this I will do the will of God preaching the gospel across the nations, for all who thirst and hunger. For this I will continue to plant seeds of goodness, because in due season I will reap the harvest that comes. For this I will fight against the rulers of the darkness in this world and against spiritual wickedness in high places all the days of my life. For this I will put on the full armor of God, so that I may withstand in the day of evil. Valleys may be low, and mountains may be high, but the good Lord is my shepherd; I will be fine. Rivers may be wide, and seas may be vast, but I know the Lord will part the waters to make dry land.
In the most challenging times of all, I will look past the stars searching for God at the zenith of the universe. This same God who sits highly upon His throne, is the same God who dwells in my heart. The same God who hears my cries, the same God who wipes my tears, and the same God who comforts me. For He is my strength, the mightiest of them all, the rock that I anchor to in the storm, and the one I call in times of war. Knees may tremble, and bones may break, hearts may wither, and the best may fall, but given that He is with me, I will conquer it all. This life that is spoken, that God has bestowed upon me, is the life that I will cherish forevermore!!